'You Can Be Right, or You Can Be Married':

1. Show your true self

"Accelerate the inevitable. Be yourself as quickly as possible because it's all going to come out eventually. There's no valor in putting on a brave face, it's a mask like any other. Have the courage to be vulnerable."

2. Be honest

"Telling the truth is so much easier-every lie requires a lifetime of maintenance."

3. Be alert

"Don't paint the red flags white. Complacency leads to avoidance, avoidance to withdrawal, withdrawal to resentment, resentment to adultery, and adultery to divorce."

4. Fight Fair

"Getting along is easy; you need to learn how to fight fairly and productively."

5. Make an effort

"Unconditional love is for children and pets. In romantic relationships, you have to earn it-and re-earn it-all the time. And that's a good thing."

6. Talk about sex

"Discuss the dirty. Know each other's sexual boundaries. Explore the fantasies, whatever they are, because if you don't they're just going to get played out somewhere else.

7. Sweat the small stuff

"Death by 1000 paper cuts is far more common than getting stabbed in the back. At some fundamental level we are what annoys us, so if something is bugging you, say it. Nicely."

8. Stay true to yourself

"Compromise is essential, of course, but it's just as dangerous to compromise too much. You can't fundamentally change who you are to please somebody else and nobody can do that for you. It's best to love with abandon, sure, but you can't abandon yourself in the process."

Some of the interviews in Shapiro's book can be hard to read in their brutal candor. Marriages wrecked over cheating, deception, and abuse. He found that, "our capacity to deceive was truly shocking. People are terrific liars," he says. Ultimately, though the message is one of redemption. "On the other hand, our capacity to forgive-and to remain hopeful about love-was even more shocking. It was truly inspiring."

What do you think are the keys to a happy, long marriage? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.

My First making OUT...

She lived in my colony just opposite to my home. She was the sweetheart of all the roadside ruffians. She was the reason why guys came out in the evening. She was the beacon of innocence and cuteness. At last that's what she looked like. She was 3 years older to me.

Things were different back then. As my family and her family have been staying together in the same colony since more than 10 years, we all have made relationships. My mom used to call her dad as "bhaiya" and that's how her dad became my so called "Mamaji".

Like others, I also had childhood crush on her. I was in fifth standard and she was in 8th standard. Her younger brother was my one of my good friends and we were in same standard. We along with his sister used to go together to attend tutions to a teacher who was teaching us Math and Science. One day me and her brother saw her hugging and kissing the tution teacher in other room adjacent to our study room. We were astonished to see them making out.I was really shocked to see them together as the teacher was almost 15 years older to her though he was from the same village as hers.

After that day, we saw them many times making out. Every day that teacher used to make some excuses to call her to other room and they spend at least 30 minutes of sex leaving us back st study room and ordering to concentrate on our studies. They were unaware of the fact that we knew about their sex affair. The time she enters the other room with the teacher, we follow her after some minutes. We were seeing everything they do(both naked).Thanks to the small hole on the door of that room. Time passed. Whenever I got a chance, I never missed to see them together making out. Eventually, my crush on her became a desire to touch her, feel her body, squeeze those well shaped breasts after seeing her naked again and again.

Though we TV in our home, I always found a way to go to her home to watch the TV and sitting as close as possible to her in an effort to touch her and making sure that it happened accidentally. I used to call her Didi, so I was afraid to do all those nonsense things. I was afraid of how she will react, what if she tells to my parents. I would have been finished without doubt.

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As I was the most intelligent guy of our colony and always scored higher marks in exams than others and also good at sports, I had a good image in colony as the idol guy. I also looked little cute in my childhood days which attracted others.

Going to her home everyday and continuous effort to touch her finally led me step ahead. I started touching her by arms, shoulders. I was feeling like she was aware of my desperation to touch her though there was no response from her side. I always found a place to sit beside her while watching TV and keep trying to touch her. I never moved an inch elsewhere when she sits beside me.

Months passed, year passed. I was now in 7th standard. Tution teacher had already left to his village a long time back(almost a year). He got married and never returned. She was all alone here in Paradeep with none to quench her thirst.

Our exam was over head just 2 months away. Me and her bro decided to study together. As I was good at studies, everybody wanted to share a space with me for studying. I agreed to study with her brother because I can get more time to meet her.

A week came when her parents had to go to village. She and her bro were left alone due to exams. As we and her brother was studying together for exams and her parents were not going to be home for next full week, it was decided that I will sleep at their place and we will study till 1am late night. It was like I got what I wanted.

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First Night: Her brother went to sleep around 11pm. He was feeling very sleepy and I also agreed to him quickly to sleep without studying further( I acted like I was also feeling sleepy). But, I was no mood to sleep. Within next 10 minutes, her bro started snoring making a confirmation that he is now in his dream world. She had already slept earlier in other room next to our room. And that time, I decided to step out of our room and go to her room expecting her room door to open. I really had no idea what I was going to do in her room. To my goodness, her door was open as I pushed slowly to check and it opened widely.

The bed light was ON.I saw her in deep sleep lying on bed like a sex Goddess keeping the face upward. The shirt of her night suit had just moved a little higher than than her waste displaying her sexy navy. That was so cute and adorable. I was trembling at the door. I still had not entered the room. After checking 2 or 3 times her brother, I entered her room and slowly moved my step ahead till I reached near her bed. I was close to her now, looking at her entire body. She was looking so pretty, her eyes were closed, pink lips were shining, her navy was inviting me to touch it. Her so perfectly shaped boobs were inviting me to hold it.

I sat near the bed looking at her and thinking of how to move further. I was afraid what if she wakes up if I touch her. One hour passed, I still had not touched her. I was just looking at her. She turned aside. I could see her back and her bare waste and beautifully shaped ass. My hands were trembling, my heart beats were beating faster like hitting hammer on a hot iron.

Finally, I moved my hand to touch her waste. I just touched and I brought my hand back in fear of waking her up. I touched it again and again. On my fourth touch, she took a turn and I ran back to other room where I was supposed to sleep. It felt like she woke up and saw me. I went to bed and acted like sleeping. But, I was not sleeping. She didn't came out of her room and didn't make any noise of opening door or her feet tapping sound of walking. I confirmed that she was still sleeping and has not seen me. That was enough for first and it was already too late. I went to sleep.

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2nd Night: It was already 1am and her brother already slept. I stepped out of of our room and pushed her room door, it opened. Though my whole body was trembling and heartbeats were beating faster, I went straight to her bed. This time, nothing was visible outside, not even her navy except her shining lips and her boobs were wide open. I could not restrain myself.I dared to touch her breast with my one finger once, then twice, thrice, again and again. Then, I kept my whole lucky palm on her right side breast. I started pressing slowly, little harder and harder. It was already hard in my pants. Now, I wanted to press  her breasts without the cover of her shirt. I put my hand into her shirt downside from her waste and moved upward. When I was just about to get my hand near her breast, she woke up and saw me. She was looking shocked. I ran back to other room and lied on bed acted like sleeping. After a few minute, she came out of her room and came to our room and switched ON our room light. She woke up her bro and called outside of the room. They talked for a while and her brother came back to room. He switched off the light and went back to sleep. I was noticing all these with my closed eyes.

Next morning, I could not face her. I just woke up and ran to my home. She was looking at me with mysterious eyes when I was getting ready to go back to my home. I was very sure that last night she had told all to her bro and they will not allow me ever to sleep at their place. I was getting prepared to answer to my parents if she will tell it to my parents. But, nothing of that sort happened. Her bro called me again to sleep at their place. I decided to go but I also had decided that I will not try this time to go to her room and try anything nonsense as she already had seen me once.

I continuously studied that night to 1pm. Her bro had already slept since 12 am. She had also visited our room once around 12am to check if we are studying. I closed my book and decided to sleep. I came out of the room to go to toilet. While I was returning, I got shocked to see her standing in front of me a little far away from the toilet. I asked her " you have not slept yet?"
She  didn't reply me anything. She held my hand and took me to her room. As we reached her room, she closed the door inside and started kissing me. I couldn't restrain myself. I reciprocated by kissing her back. That time lip kissing was very rare and I smooched her first time(my first ever kiss). She was moaning and panting. Withing minutes, we were together on bed cuddling each other and kissing madly. I was all on her body, my hands were running all over her body. We continued and continued kissing, hugging, sucking and feel each other completely. [We made out]. It was still not( we didn't have intercourse). To be honest, I had no idea of intercourse and how it is done. We just kissed, hugged and cuddled each other on bed. It was really AWESOME.

The next all nights continuously went the same. We made out through out the whole night and before dawn I used to come back to her bro's room and sleep with him. Her bro finds me sleeping every morning next to him, so he had no question of doubt. Though I was only day dreaming about having sex with her and it affected my exam preparation, I was enjoying late night with her.

I was still wondering what she talked to her bro that night when she saw me near her bed, but I never asked. I was sure that she must not have told this to her bro otherwise she would not have invited me to her room to have sex.

Though we never had real sex, We were really enjoying. I guess she was afraid of getting pregnant because of which she controlled to have intercourse. That week ended, her parents came back. Our continous making out took a pause. But, it never stopped. She always got a chance to open the main door for me to enter and we made out. Then, I return to my room after making out with her. I wish I could have intercourse with her, I didn't do it: I don't know why !!

Things continued the same, until.......

My First Ever Crush ...

It was year 1995, when I was in seventh standard. It was time when guys were still to discover anything else except playing Cricket, wearing good clothes, experimenting with hair styles, thinking about girl, sex, career, and girls were not shortening their skirts to flaunt their legs, yet to discover hair remover to remove hair on their legs, talking about love and the most handsome guy in the class. We were not enjoying the romantic movies that time. Only action movies excited use. The happy and en-joyful pre-puberty days.

And that's the time I had my first ever crush. It was Ganesh/Saraswati pooja( I exactly don't remember)in school. I reached school a little earlier than others to attend the pooja. None had reached yet and I was all alone standing in the middle of the road, when I saw her. A girl in a red frock was running towards me in slow motion. I was standing in the middle of the road on the front barendah of the school watching her running towards me.

She was like the first breeze of autumn, she was mid-summer night's dream. Her eyes were so perfect, her pink lips were the cutest and most beautiful lips to create the most enjoying sight to view. She was so hard to describe. The sun light reflected off her perfectly sculpted face, seemed the only light illuminating the place.

Within next few minutes, she crossed me. I could smell her fragrance. It was like a magnetic force that slowly turned me 180 degree to keep looking at her till she was out of my sight. I remained still, couldn't move an inch. The world, air, people everything around me frozen for a while. I couldn't believe I just saw a girl of my dream.

My plan was to stay for one or two hours at school to attend puspanjali, have prasad and return to home. But, I spent around 5 to 6 hours in search of her, looking at her in the crowd. I wanted to know who is she, which class she is in, what's her name, where does she saty, does she have a bf etc. etc..

That night and next few days I couldn't think of anything else except her. I couldn't sleep at night. I couldn't ask about her to anyone in the school because I was very shy and I had a very limited friends(who were only backbenchers). None ever talked about girls that time. If you start talking about a girl, everybody will start teasing you. And to be that in front of girls, that will be very embarrassing. I never had a friend who was a girl whom I could ask about her. I was very shy and conservative type of guy though I had been noticed by some of my batch-mates because of my scholarship won in 3rd and 5th class and also for my Cricket skills.

I hesitated to ask about her to anyone.One day, finally I gathered some courage to ask one of my friends about her. He told that her name is Priya, she stays in Madhuban(Paradip), she is in 7th standard(our batch-mate), but belong to a different section. I was wondering how I didn't see her even once before. I was glad to know something about her. I wanted to know more but one information about her shattered my dream. It was "the topper of our batch(Biswaranjan) likes her and he is after her". That was it. I could not believe it, but I realized that there is no chance of mine with her in compare to Biswaranjan. I was like no one in the school. Hardly 2o guys knew me and none even knew I was among the first 30 rank students. I was hardly visible to anyone and the topper whom everyone knows was after her. I was nothing in compare to the most intelligent and good looking guy- the topper of our batch. I lost my battle to the topper without even fighting.

I stopped thinking about her, inquiring about her or talking about her. I was such a coward. I kept myself alone for the rest of the day and felt disgusted with myself.

I tried to erase that memory of the incident ever since. But it only depended the inferiority complex and exacerbated my fear of talking to girls. The incident kept me reminding me that I was nobody and worthless.

Things changed thereafter, pretty drastically.